Now with Double the Trouble!

Posts tagged ‘TTC’


*Sigh*.  I now have an appt. with a different RE on Nov. 10th.  Can I just say, I absolutely, positively, DO NOT WANT TO GO!  After my disappointing appt. with the RE in January, I am just really uncomfortable going and being told (once again) that I am too fat.  I am having anxiety.  Seriously.  It is going to be a long 2 months.  And I wonder, why am I doing this?  We can’t afford IVF.  What if he thinks that’s the only way we’re going to get pregnant?  Ugh. I feel like crying right now.  How did my life turn out this way?  (And yes, I realize that I sound pathetic).


On TTC….

This blogging thing is proving to be awkward for me.  I’m hoping it’ll get easier.  Anyway, I’ve been married for 2 1/2 years.  Being that I have always wanted children, and I was already 30 at the time I got married, we started TTC right away.  I’ve known since 2002 that I have PCOS.  However, I am on metformin, and actually ovulate regularly with the help of that med.  So, I was hoping that I wouldn’t have an issue getting pregnant. Well, I guess I hoped wrong.  After 9 months TTC I went to my ob/gyn for my regular physical and mentioned that we had been trying to get pregnant for 9 months, and with my history of PCOS, did I need to worry?  She told me to come back if I wasn’t pregnant in 3 months.  Since I worked with her, I mentioned it to her at work 3 months later that I wasn’t pregnant.  She set me up for an HSG (for those who are lucky enough to not know what that is, it’s where they thread a small catheter up the vagina and through the cervix into the uterus.  They then inject a dye into the uterus and take xrays.  This test is able to show abnormalities within the uterus as well as if the fallopian tubes are blocked).  Luckily, that came back completely normal.  She told me to just keep trying the old fashioned way for a few more months.  4 months later, we’re still not pregnant.  So, she starts me on Clomid.  I ovulate like a banshee on this and she draws a day 21 progesterone level.  It comes back at 48.  This is highly suspect for pregnancy.  Prior day 21 tests have always been in the high teens.  I actually get excited.  Unfortunately, I am not pregnant.  It just meant that the Clomid made me ovulate really well.  So we continue on the clomid.  The next month, my ob/gyn decides to leave the area.  Boooooo.  So, I get hooked up with an ob/gyn about 50 minutes away.  She is awesome.  She doubles the clomid and adds ultrasounds into the mix.  This was last June.  I produce 5 eggs that month.  No pregnancy.  Oh, I should probably add, that before we started any of this my husband had his sperm checked out and they were A-OK.  Again in July…..3 eggs…..nada.  Same in August.  By Sept I am at my wit’s end (or so I think).  I talk to the doc, and we decide to add IUI into the mix with the clomid.  We did a single IUI in Sept, and Oct.  In Nov. and Dec. we do two per cycle.  Absolutely nothin.  Sheesh!  What does it take to get me knocked up?  

   In the meantime I have 5 cousins who turn up pregnant, as well as 2 co workers.  And I work in OB.  And see people who smoke, drink, do various drugs, have multiple children with multiple partners all getting pregnant.  Some of the babies I fear for when I send them home with their parents, sure that I am going to see their names in obituaries.  

  In January of this year, my ob decides to send my to a specialist about 3 hours away. She sends me to this particular guy because he is only a RE with no other specialties, and you can get into him in about 2 weeks, and he is willing to work with your home physician.  Sounds like a winning situation.  Turns out not to be.  He tells my husband and I that probably the only reason we are not getting pregnant is because we are too fat.  And that I should lose 50 pounds in 6 months, come back, and we’ll do essentially what we’ve been doing.  Here’s the thing……I know I’m fat.  I also know that weight on me does not come off easily, and losing 50 pounds in 6 months is probably near to impossible.  Needless to say, I felt horrible.  At the same time, my doc ended up having emergency surgery and was out of work for 8 weeks.  Fortunately, she is my friend’s friend and I was able to communicate with her while she was out.  She felt terrible and said that she didn’t think that was the reason we weren’t getting pregnant.  

  And so life happens.  My husband couldn’t find a job, and I lost mine (and thus our insurance) in April.  So, we’ve just been doing it the old fashioned way.  I started a new job at the end of May and will have insurance Sept. 1st.  I already have an appt with my ob/gyn on Sept 2.  Oddly enough, I now work with THIS ob/gyn.  I don’t know what we’ll do.  We can’t afford in vitro or adoption.  I guess I may have to realize that maybe I will only be mama to our furbabies.  Who I love, but would love to have a real baby of my own.  I guess we’ll see what happens……..